Julius Seizure

Ever wondered what it would look like if Sid Vicious dressed as Darby Crash for Halloween? Well now you know, so stop asking. This is Julius Seizure, often known as “the guitarist from that band”. Born somewhere near Miami, Florida, he used to spend his wild nights running the streets with his adopted pet rock named Kevin, beating up heroin dealers. When the cartel of Surf Nazis that supplied these dealers caught wind of their antics, they kidnapped Kevin and told Julius that they would crush him with a hydraulic press if he ever stepped foot in Florida again. Distraught, he left the sunny beaches and took refuge in the backwoods of Spotsylvania, Virginia. Here he joined a local band with Jake and Kris, but when his anger at the sea-faring fascists couldn’t be properly expressed, he left with them to form Skumboyz. In the temperate treeline he waits, until he can one day return to the beaches of Miami and fight for Kevin’s freedom. He never says much, so we’re not even sure he can speak English, but we’re mostly sure that this story is what he was trying to convey to us. Mostly. He is also straight-edge, so ask him for all of the stories, because he’s probably the only one who remembers what happened.

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